It's YOU I think about when I'm with him. 

I get the feeling you're jealous, that it should have been YOU and not HIM who swept me off my feet. 

Am I worth it? Am I worth fighting for?

Then FIGHT, dammit. Fight for me! 

I enjoy his company and his friendship, but it's YOU that I want. 

I'm afraid that I've been wrong all this time and  you let me get away on purpose. 

I need to see you. 

I need closure so we can go back to being friends. 

Because in the end, I'd rather have you in my life as a friend, than not have you in my life at all. 

I've always cared about you. Did you ever get that feeling that I truly say what I mean and mean what I say. 

But if your feelings for me are deeper than you've let on, tell me so! 

Then court me proper. 

It's all I ask.

--College Grrl

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Would my life have been different if I never had a weight problem?

I’d like to take the easy way out and say no, that I’m still the same person regardless of what it says on the scale. But, after thinking about it, I think now that my life would have been different, though I have no idea how it would have been different.

Because I’m considered by most standards as being overweight, do people treat me differently, or do they tend to look at me like anyone else, where my personality, my human-ness, and my feelings are measured?

If I had always been thin, for example, would life for me have been easier, or more difficult?

I really don’t know, because I’ve never been what is considered “thin”. I’ve always been curvy and voluptuous. In high school, when I was relatively thin (compared to now), I was still called fat because I didn’t look like the thin, popular girls as far as to what my body looked like.

I think I would have been well endowed (can’t fight heredity, it seems), and for some men, that’s all they care about. And the curvyness of my physique is because of heredity as well. It’s something I can’t help, sorry.

However, there are weight issues on both sides of my family… my maternal grandmother, all 4′ 10″ of her, was overweight most of my life until she passed away in 1989. My paternal aunt is also overweight, and again, for most of my life. She’ll be 90 years old in August. Heart disease doesn’t really run in my family, though diabetes does (my grandmother mentioned above was diagnosed with it late in life).

It’s taken a long time for me to accept who I am, and what I look like. I’ve gotten to the point in my life that I like who I am, what I look like for the most part, and that makes me happy. Could I stand to lose weight? Of course. I know that carrying all this excess is hard on my joints and other parts of my body. But, as I’ve said before in other posts, and out in the “real” world, I’m not going to kill myself trying to lose weight to meet society’s definition of “thin” or “sexy”. I’m going to just be Stef, and if “they” can’t handle me as I am, then tough. If I change, it will be because of me, because I want to, not because someone wants to “change” me (my ex tried that, and it didn’t work).

This is me, ladies and gentlemen… deal with it.

I have people who like me and love me just the way I am. Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.